Be An Unaccomplished Mess–And Have Fun

the bird doesn’t fly to accomplish something, it just flies

For the first time I’m writing TWO notes per day.

These here Grace Notes, my own work right in front of you in writing….and then Eating Peace notes which will only be happening for awhile, until the Eating Peace program starts on October 26th at 8:30 am.

(If you wanted to be on the Eating Peace list, too, you don’t have to join the program to read what I’m sending…really vital parts of what I learned over the years that helped me recover completely from eating wars. To subscribe to Eating Peace notes, just click the little tiny words at the bottom of this note that say “Update Profile/Email Address” and you can add yourself to the Eating Peace list.)

I almost can’t believe I’m writing so much, and how it simply spills out of me like I’m turning on a faucet!

People ask me how I do it?

I could say a few details on how, and they may be interesting or helpful…

….like, I make sure I have time in my schedule now twice a day without clients, I can type 150 words per minute, I always have an idea running in the back of my mind, I get inspired by clients every day and THEIR thoughts….

….but really, that’s all yada yada.

For some reason, this is what is happening.

I had no plan for it. I don’t have an explanation for it either.

My expression into the world is in writing, doing my inquiry, running workshops and creating programs for some weird bizarre reason.

But let’s say you WANT to do something, and you notice you DON’T do it .

Maybe you want to write every day like me. Or maybe you want to earn more money, get in better shape, learn to play the mandolin, speak French, change careers, visit Argentina, go on a cruise, make a room in your home better, find a mate, clean out your shed, upgrade your car, get the dandelions out of your yard, lose twenty pounds.

The mind will go on and on with projects.

Some repeat themselves regularly.

It really seems like you should accomplish them. Or someone else close to you should accomplish something!

This is pretty fun for inquiry. You may feel lighter, once this is over.

You should accomplish what you way you want to accomplish.

They should accomplish what YOU want them to accomplish (and they say they want to accomplish).

Is it true?

Well…duh! Of course I want to earn more money! Of course I want to finish my book! Of course I want my husband to lose some weight!

All around better. Sure of it.



How do you react when you think that idea should become a reality? When you really believe that you ought to get it done? When you absolutely think THEY ought to get it handled?


A huge wave of frustration comes over me. I could storm around railing about how this isn’t done, that isn’t done.

Last summer 2013, I decided in early June that this was the summer to get the shed cleaned out.

I scheduled it on my calendar for August, a whole weekend to clean out the shed.

I was very committed. I got a truck. I planned. I kept two full days clear, Saturday and Sunday. I scheduled nothing.

I was successful!

I got all MY boxes cleaned out, I took stuff to the dump, I took stuff to Goodwill, I stacked things neatly.

The only little part left was that my kids and husband, I had decided, ALSO needed to clean out THEIR boxes in the shed and eliminate, throw away, label, do all the shed-type-cleaning-out stuff.

That part never happened.


Heh heh.

Now, summer 2014 just ended. No further shed-cleaning has happened from the other said parties.

Let’s just say, how I react when I believe it SHOULD be accomplished is….well….a little like Hitler marching around a whacking things with a stick.

Who would I be if I couldn’t even have the thought that something should be accomplished that is NOT yet accomplished?

Oh. Gosh.

Suddenly, laughter!

Without the belief that anything special should be happening, without the belief that all those things you want done should be done by now, or it would be better if they were….

….it’s like soaring in a wide open sky.

Nothing expected. Nothing necessary. Nothing needed in order to “get” somewhere. No accomplishing required.

And I notice I loved doing all that shed stuff, it made me happy. It makes no difference if I thought other people should also want to do it, too.

“When you no longer have a will of your own, there is no time and space. It all becomes a flow. You don’t decide, you flow from one happening to the next, and everything is decided for you.” ~ Byron Katie

Without any of that stuff on your list done, or even started…with none of it complete at all…could you still be happy right now, in this moment?

Yes. Giddy almost.

Do you think you’d be more likely to do that thing you imagine doing from this joyful place, or from the angry place?

This is fun.

“You’ll never reach a point in your life where everything is solved, all neatly tied up in a bow. That’s the point…..You learn to love the mess of your life…..” ~ Jeff Foster

Much love, Grace

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