New Mindset for a New Year
"This program has been huge for me since I was so new to this form of self-inquiry. My sense of peace around self-sabotage and anxiety is immense. I am beyond grateful to find it." ~ Clark, Professional Musician
"I love being immersed in The Work. Doing The Work with others has a snowball effect. The more I do it, the better I feel, the better I am in the world." ~ Sarah Jane, High School Teacher
Sometimes, stepping out of our everyday schedules and focusing some clear attention on pain we'd like to change is the only way we can truly reframe what we've experienced and know how to move forward with ease.
In our daily lives, we're living our usual patterns, falling into our routines, and our thinking becomes very habitual. We never take time out to stop, investigate, question and understand our "problems" so we can find creative solutions, or the peace we long for.
Often, we keep looking and looking for answers, and don't realize we could have the answers we need within us.
This retreat is the chance to take that time out to connect with the wise part of ourselves....in the comfort of our own home or quiet space (sometimes people have rented a little cabin with wifi to attend this retreat).
The fact that we are each in our own space, on retreat, creates a remarkable opportunity for you to interact with your surroundings, and to participate in diving deeply into the cause of your own lack of peace, with the virtual support of a group of people all curious about navigating one of the most important assets in life: our mental health, our minds, the way we're thinking.
We do this investigating with four questions, and finding turnarounds; the practice of self-inquiry known as The Work of Byron Katie.
We'll guide you through the process, every step of the way.
"As long as you think that the cause of your problem is 'out there'—as long as you think that anyone or anything is responsible for your suffering—the situation is hopeless. It means that you are forever in the role of victim, that you’re suffering in paradise.”~ Byron Katie
We want to feel empowered, clear and loving to the people in our lives, and most of all to ourselves. It can be difficult not to feel stuck, or like a victim of our circumstances, when we get caught in our stressful stories--it's like listening to a soundtrack that won't turn off.
Retreat gives us the time to look closely at what we've been thinking and believing--especially what we've believed that's caused suffering--and to take it through this powerful process.
There are four questions--but you'll be the one with your own answers.
What can happen is often remarkable. By answering these questions, you find your way through confusion, and allow yourself to relax. You find that you have what you need within you, and you can access it now. Doing The Work allows it to be revealed, like a cloud-cover disappearing from the sun.
You'll get to begin with a situation, relationship, or concern that's disturbed you.
All you'll need is an open mind, and pen and paper. No previous experience is necessary.
With the power of four questions and the experience of two facilitators who have practiced The Work over and over again, we will dive in and question the thinking that creates worlds of sorrow, open to what comes instead, and find solutions.
It's incredibly powerful. Not boring. Not too difficult to grasp. Anyone willing can do it.
People find freedom and understanding with situations presenting enormous difficulty: divorce, addiction, relationship conflict, worry about children (whether still in the home or grown up), parenting, betrayal, heartbreak, family of origin issues, job loss, co-worker conflict, money difficulties, sibling troubles, physical disease....and any other distress that's presenting itself.
Tom and Grace bring many years of experience to this work; Tom since the late 1990s, Grace since 2004. Their combined experience brings different flavor to the process, in a trusting spirit of unconditional love for each and every participant.
What is the curriculum and general flow of this online retreat?
While Tom and Grace have long-term experience doing their own work, and facilitating The Work with others in private practice, we both draw from and bring to this process exercises collected from years of working with people in groups.
In the flow of this workshop together, the people attending are what bring the curriculum to life. Sometimes one person will be doing The Work, sometimes the entire group will actively participate.
We will also divide into zoom rooms for partner paired facilitation or sharing (nothing you need to know especially about zoom, we will be handling the technology behind the scenes and you'll follow a prompt to enter a zoom break-out room).
Sometimes there will be opportunity to check-in and share, or ask questions about what you're seeing, and how things might look different for you.
Generally, both Tom and Grace allow for feedback with time for raised hands, responses and comments on your process. Often there is a brief guided/silent meditation to begin or end a session each day. Sometimes, a meditative exercise is offered during session for us all to understand a particular topic more deeply.
This retreat attempts to bring in many ways to address The Work in this shared co-creative experience. We know people have different learning/being styles and we like to make as much of this work accessible to each person's particular style as possible.
Our daily schedule all Pacific Time--all sessions recorded for those who miss
Everyone welcome from all time zones--we suggest you have some solid experience in The Work if you choose to attend partial sessions such as only mornings or only evenings. We highly recommend watching recordings if you must miss, in the order they are presented, to stay in the flow of the process unfolding with everyone.
INVESTMENT:
To enroll, we suggest $625 for the entire week for tuition. Normally a 7 day retreat of this nature would cost around $1500 minimum without adding in the traveling expenses or food and lodging. For Byron Katie's 9 Day School the fee is almost $7000. Since this is online, we've lowered the tuition range, but Grace and Tom's time is still fully dedicated to you for this retreat, and we have some behind-the-scenes expenses for the technology and administrative support needed to prepare for and run this event.
We've set a sliding scale range to help those in need choose a lower amount to make it possible for them to attend, so when you enroll the range to choose from is $495-$895 for the whole retreat, including access to all recordings (these are not sold separately at this time). We set this up as pay-from-the-heart so you may contribute more to help off-set expenses and people with scholarship need if you're able. Sustainable rate to cover all expenses and time is $625.
We really can't wait to see who shows up, and what shows up. It's a mystery and a true adventure in the inner landscape. Doing The Work of Byron Katie has been compared, when doing it daily for 7 days, to several years of therapy. It's a practice that cuts to the heart of the matter, and allows you to find your own answers to your own concerns in an amazingly simple--but not always easy--manner.
We look forward to spending time with you on this adventure of inquiry, insight, understanding and love.
"A profound experience. I thought Grace and Tom had worked together for years, my jaw dropped when I found out this was the first time. They are a brilliant balance of love and truly compliment each other. The pace seamlessly flowed between them and whatever happened next. I can't thank them both enough for what they offered, and what I found." ~ Summer 2019 at Breitenbush.
"I don't know what it is, but these two together are offering some kind of magic. Two experienced facilitators working with the group at the same time was a wonder to behold--each bringing a different flavor to the pot. All I can say is, it worked. It really, really worked." Online Retreat
"I enjoyed the contrast in style of Grace and Tom facilitating The Work. Both very skilled and steadfast."
"I appreciated the repeated patient reminders to allow not-knowing. And how both Grace and Tom are so skillful in guiding us through turnarounds---there are many possibilities I feel able to consider (or at least for now, consider considering!) at the end of the retreat that I wasn't open to last week. Thank you, thank you."
"Grace and Tom each bring immense skill, patience, compassion and humor that enables 'hard,' challenging issues to be examined without paralyzing fear. Wonderful companions!" ~ June 2021
"Grace and Tom worked well together, both so attentive. Different approaches lent different light on The Work. Both of them just holding the space, so beautiful and powerful."
"I appreciated Tom's steady, patient, sometimes humorous doggedness, the wise experience, and even the slight bite of Tom's facilitating, like a sheepdog always keeping the straying mind herded into the pool pocket of letting go and becoming simply present. I appreciated Grace's quiet, thoughtful, honest, self -reflective drawing people in to look with such a sense of safety and acceptance of who we are. All of this goodness happened for me each day of this workshop and with each partner I had."
"Tom and Grace, you worked BENEVOLENTLY together like a double whammy! IT WAS AMAAAAAAAAAAAAAZING to see one take off where another left off and vica versa. YOU HELD an INCREDIBLY welcoming safe space for me and ALLOWED and encouraged me to be however I was wherever I was and there ALWAYS felt like there was space and enough time to get it all done." ~ June 2021
"This was better than I ever imagined. From the ease of technology and emails, to the support behind the scenes to the way the overall flow of the program was managed, and that's not even the content itself of inquiry facilitated beautifully between these two...it's the best online virtual program I have taken.~ Online Participant
What's the daily content like?
When we gather, the range of people's experience in The Work and self-inquiry is far and wide. Knowing this, we approach this work with "beginner's mind".
We may move with one person doing The work while others listen, but our work tends to be quite organic and to meet everyone participating. People will have feedback, questions, and inspired conversation from what is heard and shared.
Some things happen with the format in general that we always include such as: we pair people into small rooms on zoom to do The Work together (at least once a day). The pairings include both Tom and Grace as needed. When people come back from partner pairing, there is sharing and Q&A and sometimes more inquiry.
We also have check-in time at the beginning of sessions, so that if people have paired offline or are mulling over the process, they have the chance to bring up a question or insight (we find more and more questions come as the retreat unfolds generally).
We also offer exercises for identifying beliefs around specific topics that either Tom or Grace have been inspired to offer over the years of working with others, where we offer prompts to see what we truly think and feel about certain issues.
At the beginning of the retreat we ask people to share what draws them to the retreat, and note their focus at hand as there may be content we want to include that addresses that topic.
How many people attend online retreat?
We’ve had anywhere between 20-60 people in online retreats. The normal expectation is about 25-30. Sometimes people sign up with the intention to listen only (video cameras are not required to be on) so we let people join in that way, no participation is required.
We also record each session so people who need to miss who are located in distant time zones can come live to one, then sleep before listening to the recording of the next, then back to live, and stay updated with the pace of what’s happening. There is opportunity for anyone not present live during retreat to send in a question or share.
How long will the recordings be available?
2 months, until February 1st, 2024
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