Recently a sincere inquirer contacted me to do some work on her sadness and depression about death.
Powerful topic, to say the least.
“I’m not afraid of death….I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” ~ Woody Allen
The funny thing about death is that it appears to be something that occurs to every living entity. An end of sorts, with no turning back. And from a very early age, this mystery is often spoken and taught about as…… terrible.
Horrible images of absence, violence, blood, gore, hell, a dark abyss, vacant silence and fear arise in stories we hear, in conversation around us. When we’re kids, we see the grownups around us cry or mourn, sometimes desperately, for someone gone.
We think….”Oh, death must be the worst thing that could ever happen!”
But who would you be without that belief?
It’s strange to imagine. However, notice the argument with reality to believe death is bad, wrong, incorrect. An argument with something greater than yourself.
An argument that says “this should not be that way, we should live forever, we shouldn’t die, whoever set this up (God) must be a masochist or a sadist, I can’t stand it, it hurts too much…”
“Argue with reality and you lose, but only 100% of the time.” ~ Byron Katie
Turning around your thoughts, ideas, beliefs and turmoil about death, what if you considered these opposites?
LIFE is terrible….is it possible I’m upset with my life? What if Death is as good as life (which is really wonderful)? What if Death is a birth, a beginning, a transition, a metamorphosis?
What if I can stand it, it doesn’t hurt too much, we should die? Perhaps my thinking is the masochist or sadist, no one should live forever….or maybe we do.
Could it be that when I imagine death to be so frightening and threatening and awful….that I’m really imagining things, with this brilliant and creative mind?
“Death is not extinguishing the light; it is only putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.” ~ Rabindranath Tagore
I may even consider death to be appealing because my life is not so pleasant.
But can you know death is any better than life?
What if you even just considered the possibility that it’s all equal, no state better or worse than the other?
What if you simply do not know, can’t really know (with your thinking at least), and gave yourself a break trying to know?
I find this…….very exciting.
“The Unknown is more vast, more open, more peaceful, and more freeing than you ever imagined it would be. If you don’t experience it that way, it means you’re not resting there; you’re still trying to know. That will cause you to suffer because you’re choosing security over Freedom.” ~ Adyashanti
I know the pain of losing someone, losing an adorable furry friend, saying goodbye to a home, a way of life, a town, a country, a special precious item…..is, well, pain.
You are not wrong to feel the separation, the deep cut of grief.
But who, or what, would you be without your beliefs about death?
No one knows what death is. Maybe it’s not a something; maybe it’s not even a nothing. It’s the pure unknown, and I love that. We imagine death is a state of being or a state of nothingness, and we frighten ourselves with our own concepts.” ~ Byron Katie
Much love, Grace