The Joy of Welcoming True Feedback–Yippee!

Someone wrote to me saying Grace Notes are too long.

I’ve heard it before (big surprise, right)?

Who would have known the quiet one in the back could wax on, chattering away, or raise their hand and share, or go on stage to perform or lead a retreat, or write daily notes.

But I LOVED that honesty. Very refreshing.

When people give me real, authentic feedback, I am honored.

So let’s see if I can make this shorter today….(stop jumping for joy, I saw that).

Here’s the way to clearly identify your stressful concept: “if someone offers a criticism, a correction, a preference, a suggestion….it means ______.”

Pick any time you felt a jolt in your gut or maybe a waft of disappointment drift by when someone shares with you some feedback, fill in that blank.

The stress feels like this:

Oh. Bummer. Rats. Shoot. I did it wrong. I need to change. Eck. They shouldn’t say that. They don’t like me. Embarrassed. Dang it. Hmm. Sad day. Help. No. Ouch.

Now, you’ve got several thoughts written down. Then you take one of them through the four questions.

Who would you be without the belief that you did something wrong, or disappointed someone (and that’s wrong) or were too much, too little, off, inadequate, mistaken, you lost out, it hurt?

“When I don’t look for approval outside me, I remain as approval. And through inquiry I have come to see that I want you to approve of what you approve of, because I love you. What you approve of is what I want. That’s love–it wouldn’t change anything. It already has everything it wants. It already IS everything it wants, just the way it wants it.” ~ Byron Katie

So thrilling!

Turns out, today I don’t think, research, contemplate or spend so much time on Grace Notes. I could use more time.

Oh boy, I love that person. They gave me such great advice!

“The Master doesn’t seek fulfillment. Not seeking, not expecting, she is present, and can welcome all things.” ~ Tao Te Ching #15

Much love, Grace

P.S. Someone wrote asking if people who are NOT enrolled in the 3 month Eating Peace Program can register for the Eating Peace 3-day workshop. The answer is YES. About 4 spots left.

7 Replies to “The Joy of Welcoming True Feedback–Yippee!”

  1. Oh such a wonderful question! Yes, sometimes there is a movement and sometimes not. What I do know is it was fun to experiment with it and a delightful exchange with this person who wanted things shorter–hilarious, really! (I imagined we were both chuckling in our emails to eachother, but I don’t know if that’s really true). And yes, I completely find that if there is a non-personal acceptance of whatever is happening, I can be very free to act on the suggestion or not. I’m sure Grace Notes will go right back to longer. So sweet to hear the feedback, even all the people writing to say they read every word and it’s never too long for them….something I did not anticipate but is sweet to hear as well. Beyond that place of taking it personally is a place that can feel clearly what to do or not do. Thanks for writing! Much love, Grace

  2. More feedback: I like the Grace Notes of any length, and particularly enjoy the amount of self-disclosure in the longer ones!

  3. I had no feeling that the Notes were too long. They seem “just right” to me. Whatever length they are I look forward to reading them!

  4. I think I might be asking this as someone who has trouble hearing criticism and feels a struggle about when to take criticism to heart and change because of it. Or, when to say, your problem with what I’m doing is not my problem.

  5. Hi Grace happy new year! I have a question about your post. What made you ultimately decide to make it shorter? Did you do the work and agree? As someone who gobbles up every Grace Note. And feels that whatever length they are is the perfect length, I’m curious about what made you decide to act upon that “feedback”. If love accepts all that is, why would you try to make it shorter?

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