I’m not good enough, it’s not good enough, nothing good enough.

Read more about Spring Retreat. Just a few spots open now. Love to have you if you’re ready to spring clean on the inside May15-19 here in blossoming Seattle.
All those stories, beliefs, ideas, perspectives that feel harsh, sad, disappointing, frightening, ugly….what a tremendous way to work with them by questioning their “truth” clearly for yourself. 
 
I spoke about this power of self-inquiry recently with the wonderful Tom Compton, a facilitator of The Work and someone who has been practicing his inquiry for 20+ years.  The video of our conversation is below, but if you’d like to listen on podcast, you can click here (also on itunes episode 146).
(Tom and I will be offering a retreat at Breitenbush June 12-16, 2019–call them soon to reserve a spot, early bird rate is almost over).
One of my favorite observations Tom shared was a conversation he had with Byron Katie many years ago. She told him the only difference between her and him was she had questioned more of her stressful beliefs.
That’s it. So simple.
What is a belief you notice today?
Maybe you notice one, or maybe ten, or a thousand. It seems like they swirl in, like voices clamoring for attention. I see them ticker-tape across the mind still, sometimes in collections or bunches.
Just yesterday, for example, in the middle of giving a webinar on eating peace in preparation for the upcoming program starting next week, and had the thought I forgot to advance through my slides, and spoke too long about one part, and that the volume of information is still too large even though it’s cut in half.
Then yesterday, on same Eating Peace webinar live with people there attending, construction workers outside blew a fuse and all power was lost at my house. Webinar over.
Not Good Enough.
What a persistent thought this has been throughout my life. The thing isn’t good enough. My body isn’t good enough. The job isn’t good enough. The effort isn’t good enough. That person isn’t good enough. This place isn’t good enough.
Even my self-inquiry isn’t good enough. Yikes.
I should be….I want….I need to….
There would never be enough time in the day, or even in any lifetime, to accomplish this “good enough” quality that seems so elusive.
How do we react when we believe we aren’t good enough, or the thing, person, place isn’t good enough, or the outcome isn’t good enough?
I see comparison rearing up, like it’s on fire. What is over there is better. This here isn’t quite right.
The other day, I was working with a beautiful inquirer who found her long-awaited vacation with her spouse wasn’t as wonderful as she had hoped. It wasn’t good enough.
Another inquirer worked on her connection with her young adult children and missing being closer to them. Not good enough.
Someone else did The Work on not getting promoted and the surprise promotion of someone else instead. Not good enough.
I should have found The Work 20 years ago (LOL). I should be devoting at least an hour every day to meditation, inquiry, physical fitness, re-reading sacred texts, listening to teachers, learning. Not good enough.
Find an area, just one, where you’re not good enough.
Is it true?
No.
How do you react when you believe what’s happening, including the way YOU are, isn’t good enough?
Sinking feeling. Disappointment. Closed. Angry.
Who would you be without that thought?
Feeling the life force run through me, hearing the whirr of the heater this morning and sun beams coming through the window slats. Remembering many conversations yesterday.
Noticing how the thought “not good enough” is a strange orientation, a way of looking, a funny and anxiety-producing pair of glasses. Perhaps survival-based. There it is, doing its thing, being that way. Feeling compassion for whatever that energy is.
Without the thought, I notice something does feel very mysterious, uncertain. It’s not completely easy.
The Don’t Know mind isn’t all lace and baubles, joy and peace necessarily….it’s like falling in space without a bottom below at times. Nervous.
Turning the thought around: This is good enough. I am good enough. What’s happening is good enough. Only in my thoughts is it not good enough. The image in the mind of that perfect alternative doesn’t even exist except in imagination.  
The mind is a superpower of speed and imagery, isn’t it?
Can I just feel “good enough” about this moment, right now?
Yes. I can do that.
Perhaps that’s all that’s ever required for peace. This right now. Good enough.

Much love,

Grace

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