I shouldn’t be judging this…..but I am

This month has so many wonderful gatherings in it, whether in person or on the phone, I’m soooo excited.

*Meetup North Seattle (at Goldilocks Cottage) Sunday, 11/8 2-4 pm.

*In-Person 8 Month Group Sundays 3-6 pm starts 11/22 (only one spot left now)

*Eating Peace free webinar Thinking Peace, Eating Peace November 8th 8:30-10 am PT

*Eating Peace Online 3 month program starts 11/17 (huge early-bird discount ends 11/10)


The other day, I was watching someone in a deli while they were eating.

Have you ever found yourself gazing at people with fascination?

This person had no idea I was looking. I was waiting in line some distance away, he was facing a huge window, looking out.

The bites of food this man took were all very quick, almost like he was tossing in the finger food he was eating, some kind of chip. He then ate something that looked like chocolate covered raisins, and in between, huge fast bites of a sandwich.

He had a really big belly, I noticed, but otherwise fairly balanced in size and shape. He looked tall, but not super tall. Husky, strong.

Then I noticed the thought drift in “he’d be good-looking if not for that belly.”

And on the tail of this idea….the thought I shouldn’t think something like that.

The lack of acceptance continues!

Why don’t I just look and see, without judgment?

Do you ever notice yourself judging yourself for having a judgment?

I shouldn’t judge people for being slow. I shouldn’t judge people for being overweight. I shouldn’t judge people for being rude. I shouldn’t judge people for being controlling. I shouldn’t judge people for being needy. I shouldn’t judge people for interrupting.

I should be more accepting. All the time.

But I notice THAT thought being stressful too.

Who would you be without the belief that a) you should stop judging, and b) that you ARE judging when you think thoughts?

Can you make yourself stop thinking?

If you try….good luck with that.

Who would you be without the belief that your mind is your enemy, and it’s too judgmental?


Kinda different, right?

We’re always thinking we should be super cool peaceful, accepting and gentle-minded all the time.

Embarrassing to admit the judgments….especially when we’ve learned they’re mean and persnickety and childish.

But what if you gave your childish thoughts some time, and allowed them to be heard?

Who would I be without the belief that man I watched eating would be better with a flat belly?

And, without the belief I shouldn’t notice my mind having the thought in the first place?

I may notice the great interest and attraction I have to the state of Not Grabbing, of Slowing Down.

With eating, or with anything wanted and reached for, I love calm.

I notice speed or need for anything can be questioned.

It doesn’t mean you should question it, if you enjoy and love the attraction.

How funny that it can be dropped, or fade away, through pausing and wondering if it’s true I need that thing, that item, that person, that feeling, that condition.

Turning the original thought around, that I shouldn’t judge the man’s body…..

…..I should judge it.

My mind is a thinking machine, spewing out judgments all day long.

How is it OK that I judge?

Well, I can see that this judgment is a very small part of me. It pops up out of the wide open ocean of thought. It’s not the entire truth of me (whatever that is) in that moment, watching a man eat.

It tells me what I prefer, what I don’t.

It reminds me of my own journey, and how many millions of bites of food and thoughts I took in my life that were fast and unconscious, and how stuffed my stomach sometimes became, and how desperate I once was.

There may be judgments you have, that you recognize, that simply show you which way to move.

They beam you towards what you find more appealing. It’s OK that you like and don’t like. It’s all change-able, it’s all moving constantly.

“I prefer bottled to tap water. I buy it at a gas station or a grocery store or the little shop in the hotel. I look at the brands of bottled water, curious to see which one my hand will choose, and loving that I never can know until it actually picks up the bottle. I enjoy the trip from the cooler to the cash register. The cashier is a man or a woman, young or old, white or dark or Asian. We usually exchange a few words. It isn’t a little thing. All my life I have been waiting to meet this person. I feel a surge of gratitude for my preferences. I love where they take me.” ~ Byron Katie

My preferences, my judgments, my stressful thoughts, my pleasurable thoughts….

….all the mind’s activity, coming into light and being honored, being seen, being respected….

….I love where they take me.

Whatever kind of journey my preferences take me on, I learn, and I love.

And often, I also laugh.

Hilarious: That guy shouldn’t be eating!

Much Love,


4 Replies to “I shouldn’t be judging this…..but I am”

  1. Thank you as always Grace. You keep me grounded everyday… questioning those thoughts…. observing myself & others… the things they/we say out loud (observing the conditioned responses we all tend to have…) It is a miracle consciousness that saves me (when I allow it to) & I’m getting better & better at it! Your daily Grace notes and FB page are a real blessing to read every day. Changing me for the better ~ Patricia

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