Are You Afraid It’s Not Going To Work Out Perfectly?

Who would you be without the belief it has to be perfect?
Who would you be without the belief it has to be perfect?

I’m preparing for the Eating Peace 3 day retreat coming up next week, exactly a week from today. It’s jamming full, with a waiting list. Wow.

When you are really excited about something coming in the future, how do you react?

Do you over-prepare? Do you make lists? Do you organize and re-organize? Do you worry?

From time to time, someone comes to me for facilitation on their stressful beliefs about an upcoming event.

A wedding, a party, a retreat, a show, an interview, a presentation, an exam.

I’ve written before about the beliefs that whatever it is has to be good.

Must. Be. Good.

But let’s say….you know it’s gonna be awesome. You know your stuff, you feel in the flow, you’ve got experience, you’re excited.

Yet, still.

There are some other stressful worries.

I noticed one last night, as I watched the clock tick past 8, past 9, past 10 pm and had no end in sight to my final curriculum preparation and writing.

My biggest problem?

What to eliminate that I’ve learned, and teach, about freeing yourself from obsession with food.

Gosh….there’s so MUCH!

How can I cram it all in???!!!!!

Oh, wait.

That’s what I used to say about FOOD, right?  

How can I cram it all in? 

I suddenly realized, a familiar old thought is entering my consciousness: I want to include it all, I don’t want to eliminate a thing.

Leaving something out would mean deprivation. Missing something. Not having it all.

Oh brother….time to do The Work.

Is it true that eliminating something is bad?

Is it true when making a choice that whatever is decided against might be longed for later?

People sometimes feel this way about lovers, houses they’re buying, cars, pets, flavors, majors, school, movies.

I want ALL of them, I don’t want to “have to” pick!

But who would you be without that belief?

Who would I be without the thought that deleting and eliminating some exercises, and picking only some, will mean not everything gets covered?

Who would I be without the belief that it all needs to happen ASAP, too, so that I can rest and relax AFTER I’m done?

What if it could simply go the way it goes, and I’m participating in a co-created effort….me and the universe together, inventing.

Which means, being very very kind to myself, taking a bath, going to bed, doing something light, sitting quietly doing nothing.

Because, in the end, that’s what brought me freedom from obsession and compulsive thinking and behavior around food—love and kindness for myself, in the present moment.


If you have dreadful worries about something coming in the future…

…stop for a moment.

Ask yourself, what if I loved myself wildly right now? What if I was my absolute most brilliant, sweet, fun and clever best friend, right now in this moment?

What would I do?

You know what I just did?

I set down my laptop, stood up from where I sat on my couch, and did a little jig in the middle of my living room floor, then stretched my arms way up high, took a long, deep breath, and felt what this whole room feels like….

….looking around at the beautiful colors, smelling the air, hearing the hum of the fridge, listening to the beautiful silence.

That’s what’s happening now.

What’s happening for you right now?

“In actuality, things have already worked out, beyond the story. For in this moment, in reality, there is already no goal, no image of perfection, no comparison, no ‘should’ or ‘should not’, and the thoughts, sensations, feelings, sounds and smells appearing right now are entirely appropriate, wonderfully fitting and beautifully timely for this moment in the movie of your life….Face it. Your life is never going to work out. Hallelujah.” ~ Jeff Foster

Isn’t it so exciting to simply feel in this moment?

Maybe all is very, very well without the worry or planning.

Drop the “maybe”.



P.S. Another week of podcasts is rolling out–Monday, Wednesday and Friday this week–my little 5 minute Peace Talks. Head over to itunes to listen by clicking this link HERE and be sure to submit a rating for me! I so appreciate all of you who gave such great ratings!!

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