Money! We’ll be looking carefully at what it means…and our apparent “problems” or concerns with money: earning it, getting it, keeping it.
8 week teleclass: Wednesdays, March 19 – May 7. 5:15 pm Pacific Time/8:15 pm Eastern time. Waking hours in Australia, Japan, Indonesia. Write if you’re interested firstname.lastname@example.org.
Physical ailments, a state of physicality that feels less than perfect, whether a head cold or a torn hamstring….or cancer….often carry with them a stressful response.
The disease seems to arrive, the condition. I now have this condition, it’s inside me, THIS body, mine, the one I inhabit.
I’m the one with “x” happening.
And then, with that ownership, faster than the speed of light, the mind grabs it and says (when it feels stressful) what it means, that I have this condition.
- I can’t go to that party, I’ll miss out
- I’m dying
- I’ll miss everyone
- I detest this feeling of pain
- this is all temporary
- I’ll never run, play, jump, flip, bike, move, dance again
So sad. So infuriating! Who set this entire world up like this, anyway?! Such suffering!
My mind almost always has a comment about whose fault it is (mine). Then there are the other people whose fault it is (parents, history, pesticides).
Nothing wrong with looking at patterns, gathering information, making huge changes to see how it affects the current status.
But that underlying sense, that dark cave below, that voice that is disappointed….or terrified….can feel dreadful.
Can’t I just think about something else?
With inquiry, I love turning to face it and take a good look.
Oh, by the way, remember my leg? (All eyes on me!) Well, I almost forgot about it, and returned to my old dance recently, like I used to before I tore my hamstring last fall. The joy I felt on the dance floor was so sweet, I was ecstatic.
And then a few hours later, hmmm. Some dull aching pain radiating from my injury site.
And then the next day, my back and hamstring hurt so much I couldn’t get out of bed.
Is it true, that I am condemned to reduced movement, decline, pain, aging, discomfort? Am I missing out?
Yes, yes, oh yes. Cry. Fist shaking at the sky.
Am I sure that it would be better to be my definition of health, right now? What am I looking for anyway, eternal life? Never feeling any pain, ever, ever?
This is an amazing question, to even open to the idea that it might not be as bad as I think. Or I might not want what I *think* I want.
“We try to accept what is, and I’ve come to see that this is just a beginning. To love what is, is how you know that you’re right with yourself. It’s a state of gratitude that you’re living out of that is entirely stimulating, and motivating, and it always replenishes….When we’re of right mind, there is no loss.” ~ Byron Katie
How do I react when I believe I’m missing something, losing something?
Angry, calculating, sad, upset, snappish at people, unhappy, grabby, panicked, fast.
Gratitude? Uh, that would be NOT.
(And don’t get upset with yourself for not being grateful, you’re not supposed to jump to grateful, unless you do…it’s not “better”. Is it true that you should be grateful, when you aren’t?)
Who would I be without the thought that my physical state is wrong, a mistake, bad, off, incomplete, imperfect?
Without the thought that having this body means I have to feel pain, I have to miss out, I’m losing something?
“When you finally awake, you don’t try to make good things happen; they just happen. You understand suddenly that everything that happens to you is good. Think of some people you’re living with whom you want to change. You find them moody, inconsiderate, unreliable, treacherous, or whatever. But when you are different, they’ll be different. That’s an infallible and miraculous cure. The day you are different, they will become different. And you will see them differently, too….All of a sudden, no one has the power to hurt you anymore.” Anthony De Mello
If I looked at this physical state, this sickness, ugliness, injury, pain, as one of those people that I’ve been judging…who would I be without these thoughts?
Even just a tiny smidgeon of an idea? Not inconsiderate? Not treacherous? Not dangerous?
Turning the stressful thoughts around:
- I can’t go to that party, but I won’t miss out (it’s a party right here, with myself)
- I’m living right now
- I’ll won’t miss everyone, I’ll be connected to everything
- I accept this feeling of pain, not against it, could I love it even?
- this is all temporary…halleluia (instead of oh sad)
- I’ll always run, play, jump, flip, bike, move, dance again…I could have what these things bring, like ecstasy, always
Who would you be, without your body?
Much love, Grace