When No One Shows Up, Question Your Thoughts

Breitenbush does still have one cabin (without plumbing) left with two beds. You can register for our workshop and take only one bed, knowing the other may be filled, or find a friend to join us! A very inexpensive way to come to Breitenbush.

These are the last two spots and it’s going to be a fabulous four days of immersion in The Work, the healing summer forest, natural hot springs, and simple delicious food. June 25-29. Call Breitenbush to make your reservation 503-854-7174.

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Speaking of workshops, planning, programs and goals….

….just about everyone organizes something for the future fairly regularly in their lives.

A vacation for yourself and a pack of friends, a special trip for you and your partner, a surprise party for your best friend, a fundraiser at your job, signing up for a new class, offering a class yourself, putting on a big event where people will be coming to gather, learn, have fun, find meaning.

The other day, a friend of mine shared how he had decided to have a one-day meditation and movement workshop in his city (which is not mine).

He posted it on facebook, sent emails, prepared folders for people, put up flyers at coffee houses and got excited for this special day…his first workshop offered ever!

The day of the session he arrived very early and prepared the space, setting up a circle of about twenty chairs.

Then he waited, and waited, and waited.

Not one person showed up.

He stayed the entire length of the workshop, sitting quietly even though sometimes, he was panicking. He kept writing down his thoughts, and then answering the four questions.

I’ve had these kinds of thoughts. Ooooh boy, they can be deeply stressful, and they can also be incredible to bring to inquiry.

  • nobody is coming
  • this was a terrible idea
  • no one cares about this topic
  • I’m doing something wrong
  • I’m not good enough

It’s not very difficult for even the most easy-going person to feel embarrassed, or wrong, or very disappointed. Just like if you planned a party, invited people, and nobody showed up.

How do you react when you believe there’s something wrong with you, or you aren’t good enough, or it means no one cares, or you had a terrible idea?

Once I had a “meetup”…that online site where you can create a gathering after registering.

The first one was fantastic, many people came and I was thrilled. I’m not even sure how that happened, how it was so successful, because I didn’t post it anywhere except the meetup site!

So I scheduled another meetup about 3 months later, in a different location. Only 4 people came. One of them said “I love doing The Work, but I’m not in the market for anything where I have to pay, so don’t try to sell me anything.”

Gulp.

Who would you be without the belief that this means something about YOU? And it’s bad?

Here’s what I found, without the thought….and it’s really spectacular news: a feeling of incredible energy and curiosity about what else to do, learning what’s missing, studying how others achieve attendance, learning how to deeply connect with others, serve, make genuine contact.

Now that’s exciting. And has nothing to do with me as a personality.

Let’s turn the thoughts all around:

  • I am coming (I am not nobody)…and everybody is coming
  • this was a fantastic idea
  • everyone cares about this topic
  • I’m doing something right
  • I am good enough

Can you find real, authentic examples of how you know these turnarounds to be true, or truer?

And from this place……the excited, anticipating, joyful, creative place of knowing you have a fantastic idea?

You may find one of my favorite questions for imagining anything coming in the future, that begins with…..HOW?

“How CAN I get this party hoppin’, how CAN I fill this retreat, how CAN I share myself with others, how CAN I learn to do this?”

Because you can, if you want to. You are good enough.

Do The Work, find your answers. No rush, just right timing.

“Hurt feelings or discomfort of any kind cannot be caused by another person. No one outside me can hurt me. That’s not a possibility. It’s only when I believe a stressful thought that I get hurt. And I’m the one who’s hurting me by believing what I think. This is very good news, because it means that I don’t have to get someone else to stop hurting me. I’m the one who can stop hurting me. It’s within my power.” ~ Byron Katie

I notice every single time there have been fewer people than anticipated for something I help create, there have been beautiful advantages for the exact number actually present.

Great intimacy, silence, trust, peace.

And funny thing….the fewer painful beliefs I have about what should or should not happen with upcoming events….the bigger they become.

“Rushing into action, you fail. Trying to grasp things, you lose them. Forcing a project to completion, you ruin what was almost ripe. Therefore the Master takes action by letting things take their course. He remains as calm at the end as the beginning. He has nothing, thus has nothing to lose.” ~ Tao Te Ching #64

Much love, Grace

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