Last weekend, I actually chose to cancel a really fun awesome social event I host in my home from time to time….singing.
I had a sore throat.
One of this body’s things is sore throats.
Some people get allergies, or colds, or sinus infections, or bladder infections, or fevers, or migraines.
But I’ve had some killer sore throats. Like, the kind a doctor got out a big shot gun needle and gave me penicillin in my thigh as a kid because I couldn’t even swallow a drop of water my throat hurt so much.
I’d say at least once a year, here comes the sore throat.
I knew it was right to cancel singing with everyone because I felt such relief once I did it, and I went to bed to lie down.
But before I actually decided….
….I noticed the idea come through my mind “you could cancel, you know….”
And I watched myself not cancel.
Maybe I’ll get a second wind.
Maybe it will start to go away.
Maybe I could enjoy myself anyway–we’ve all had one of those experiences where even though you’re pretty sure you’re ill or have a virus–you go anyway, and have a good time.
Once a decision was made, there was no problem. Resting and sleeping, very soundly, was a brilliant idea.
But that in-between zone before making that decision….that was hard.
I love everyone who’s coming, I don’t want to be disappointed, we won’t get to sing again for weeks and its already been a long time, I need to connect with fun people, I’ll regret it if I say no.
Who would I be without the belief I’ll be unhappy in the future because of a decision I make right now?
What if ANY decision made is the right one, and there’s no “wrong” decision, no alternative that might have gone better (or worse)?
Because the one made is the only reality.
There is no alternative.
Who would you be without the belief you made the wrong decision, or a troubling decision, or a hard decision, or a bad or awkward decision?
I’d be resting.
Smiling when my friend texts me a photo of the pot of friend rice he had prepared for the potluck now canceled, saying he now gets to eat it all himself.
Noticing the stillness of the air in the room, the comfortable bed, the aching glands, the sweetness of holding still.
Today, I still have a bit of whatever is visiting this body, but I’m writing, podcasting, meeting with several clients via skype and phone, sending emails, up out of bed….but not moving fast, eating vitamin C, feeling the slow energy.
Could slow-pace quiet stillness all by myself be just as good as friends gathering together?
Here’s to decisions, and what unfolds naturally, and noticing it’s really not a problem.
Enjoy laughing about decisions.
If it’s not so funny for you….question that thought.
Here’s hilarious Ellen, on making decisions:
|Ellen’s monologue about making decisions|