Eating Peace Online starts on February 22nd. This is my baby, born after years of study, healing, and training. I am now in service as a light worker to others who need help changing their relationship with eating, forever.
How to Be a Happy Parent starts Monday, February 23rd. Head over to my website to learn more or hit reply if you have questions. A cool bunch of moms are signing up–dads are welcome too!
Speaking of kids.
Last week my new podcast Peace Talk turned out to be about kids, or really, taking care of people…
…and what a hassle that can be! Jeez!
When I first began doing The Work, I investigated my thoughts on just about everybody else before my kids.
They were quite young when I found The Work.
I was so in love with them! I almost had a weird reaction to being a mom I hadn’t anticipated, which was “why didn’t someone tell me this would be so fantastic, ecstatic, and wondrous!?”
Of all the choices I had for careers, work, or creative projects….
….this was the BEST EVER.
I gave birth at home, it was pretty easy, I had super relaxed pregnancies. For once, something appeared to come very naturally to me. Being a mom.
One day we’re driving to the store, my two kids in car seats in the back seat.
Suddenly, a piercing scream and the youngest is grabbing her brother’s shirt and pulling, and he’s shouting at her to stop.
Something is thrown and it jets past my ear and I hear it hit the front windshield.
Nothing breaks, it was just a plastic apple from the doll house kitchen.
But I was SOOOOOOO MAD!
I screamed at the top of MY lungs shouting “STOP! NOW!” and it felt like my head would explode and fire was coming out of my ears.
My throat actually hurt afterwards.
What the ?
I couldn’t believe how big that scream was.
What was wrong with me? Was my patience faltering? Was I worse than I ever imagined when it comes to maturity and kindness when parenting? Was I a complete whack-job? Would I turn out to be Mommie-Dearest and screw up my kids?
Self-hate, self-hate, self-hate.
I would try hard never to have these kinds of “losing it” moments.
Well….in case you haven’t noticed…
…”trying hard” doesn’t exactly work as a solution to a difficult situation or a big feeling.
I needed to explore that moment very, very, very slowly….and do The Work.
It begins with writing a Judge Your Neighbor worksheet of course, getting all the thoughts, beliefs and concerns on paper, so you can see what it is you were feeling and thinking.
What I love about The Work is that you can let out all the ridiculous, completely babyish judgments and just let ’em rip on paper.
Even about your kids.
The ones who don’t deserve your criticism, because they aren’t conditioned yet, they aren’t evil bad people, they’re being little humans.
Yes, even those innocent children you get to judge, and take your judgments to inquiry.
What a relief!
You can start with kids, or if you don’t have any children who are driving you nuts, focus on someone else who makes you cray-cray.
They should quit bickering, she shouldn’t grab, he shouldn’t bite, they should go to bed, I need them to be quiet.
And don’t go flipping your concepts into turnarounds on yourself and aim it back at you, like you’re shooting a criticism gun at your own head—no—instead, notice what is revealed to you, watch what’s disturbing you really, see what your feelings are about, and relax.
When you get to the turnarounds, you might discover new ideas about how to be with your kids (or those other annoying people) in ways that make you laugh out loud, instead of screaming.
Your love for them may pour through, without you even trying.
“Who would you be without the belief that you’re supposed to love your children right now? You’d be free to love them or not, and to be a very good parent, whatever you’re feeling right now….Inquiry sets us free of trying to be anything we’re not.” ~ Byron Katie
P.S. everyone who signs up for the parenting class will receive a little book as a gift called “Byron Katie on Parents and Children”. I’ll mail it to you myself.