Last night the Eating Peace live inquiry call did some digging into finding stressful thoughts about food….
….but really, also, about life.
The great question that I love, to better identify where your mind might be arguing with reality, is to answer this question:
Who’s to blame?
What’s to blame?
Whose fault is it, or what, that you’re not feeling so hot, or you’re having trouble with (food, drugs, sex, work, money, relationship).
Sometimes its crazy simple.
I’m having trouble with that person because that person is a retard! I blame them! Duh!
But sometimes, when you’re overeating, or obsessing about money, or have a general feeling of dread, or thinking about drinking alcohol….
….you might not know exactly what’s bothering you.
It may seem like you’ve been bothered forever, and you’re in a pattern you can’t break.
Too hard to find who to blame.
And you probably blame yourself….viciously.
Because you’re reacting–as in, you are deep in a reaction to some OTHER belief that doesn’t really have all that much to do with the actual food, or alternate compulsive behavior.
When I was learning about my feelings and how they propelled me in life, especially when it came to my super-destructive eating patterns, I started keeping a journal.
A therapist suggested it. About 50 times.
When I finally began to write, daily, or whenever I felt the most pain and agony about food….
….I was deeply honest.
I wrote how I felt. Not just about food, but about people, life, my situation.
Then, when I had enough data (journal entries) I went back through my journal with my therapist, and she asked me about what I had written about.
Through these conversations, I discovered patterns in my eating.
It was like a lightbulb went off.
Woah–I eat when someone scares me or confronts me, and I’m worried I might be getting rejected or criticized.
Only, I eat about 5 hours later….when the coast is clear and I’m all alone.
From keeping my journal, I noticed I ate when I felt rage.
I could also see the assumptions I made about what was going on with other people, and what they thought of me, and what was dangerous, and what I might need or want to request.
As I began to become familiar with my own inner world of feelings, and what they pointed to (my stories) everything I believed started to unravel.
If you have unconscious, speedy-quick, addictive or compulsive behaviors….
….start carrying around a little notebook.
Record your thoughts–but also your feelings.
This information is gold.
And it may save your life.
“Rather than understand the original cause–a thought–we try to change the stressful feelings by looking outside ourselves….Stories are the untested, uninvestigated theories that tell us what all these things mean. We don’t even realize that they’re just theories….Stress is an alarm clock that lets you know you’ve attached to something not true for you.” ~ Byron Katie