Stop Yelling! Start Working! When Stress Hits The Fan

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Yesterday, I was looking forward to a lovely interview in the morning with a fabulous facilitator of The Work, Ralf Giesen, to be recorded to share with you all and the world for anyone interested in how inquiry has affected his life.

I’ve done a couple of these interviews easily, and LOVED them.

(They’re on my youtube channel by the way).

We were both on our computers, with cameras, at the appointed time.

Looking at nothing.

Both had the google+ open, I was ready, he was ready….

….nothing firing up.

Waiting.

I was quickly checking all settings, sending another invite, googling youtube on how to start a google hangout so I could discover what the heck wasn’t working.

No answers. No Ralf.

Arrgggghh.

I have better things to do than fuss with technology! Kill the google hangout instructions! I hate this!

Fortunately, the next thing in my day of course was doing The Work, as usual.

It was a perfect segue.

The first teleclass on parenting for 8 weeks.

And there were some great situations shared by participants on moments with disruptive, yelling, rude children.

Which was the same way I felt about that google hangout situation.

They shouldn’t be like that!

It is true!

But who would you be if you couldn’t have that thought…even as things are going haywire, a child is yelling and upset, a computer doesn’t work, something doesn’t go as planned?

It’s like the most calm feeling in the world.

Even though something’s happening, moving, storming, making noise, and not going the way you’d like….

….what if you could ride the wave?

You’re sticking with it, staying connected, but not getting all worked up yourself.

Seems difficult, especially if a person (your kid) is upset and yelling, and it appears disrespectful.

But you wouldn’t rage back AND you wouldn’t withdraw and avoid.

Without the belief, I study hangouts and try to figure out how to do it differently next time, and I’m still not sure.

Participants in our teleclass felt the same.

They’re not sure how to be different yet, or how it will go next time, but it’s actually OK.

Turning the thoughts around: it should be like that.

That does feel lighter, and much less upsetting.

How could it be true, when it comes to kids, or to the technology breaking down?

Any benefits or advantages to it going the way it went, rather than your ideal or alternate version?

I don’t quite know yet.

But I do know I love connecting, whether with a colleague, or my kids.

True intimacy is courageous and loving.

And as easy as doing nothing, moving forward, asking questions, setting things up for the next time, talking….

….trying again.

“When you stay present with your children, that’s where abundance is. And when you stay out of their business, that is where everything you deserve in life is, it’s right there. When you are in presence, there’s no story there, and you are abundance, everything you ever wanted is there in that moment, and you come to trust it. And you come to trust the space so often that you just eventually hang out as that, because there is nothing that can move you out of it, not even a perceived child or a perceived anything.” ~ Byron Katie 

Love, Grace

4 Responses to Stop Yelling! Start Working! When Stress Hits The Fan

  1. Grace dear, thank you so much for this and for all the other insights you prepare and share with us, out of love and common humanity. Reading your articles and watching your videos, noticing resonances and gently inquiring into them, awakens awareness of differences emerging in my responses to life, to stroppy teens, and grouchy grownups. Noticing that it’s all already alright, that it should be just as it was/is, is a simple serenity in the presence of seeming stress, which simply dissolves along with its stressy story, leaving simple peace, love and joy, and reconciliation to all of life, others and myself. Thank you again for your love in sharing.

  2. Ah yes…it’s a beginning, and maybe more on its way than you know! I will definitely be repeating interview with Ralf :) And I will ask him about Namibia! How exciting! xo Love, Grace

  3. Lovely, am also often not there yet and starting to sense the underlying calm … All feels more kind, benevolent – “gütig” is that nice German word were there is no actual translation .. Pls reprlead interview with Ralf, would live to hear it! You can ask him about Namibia too ;) just to get you more interested ;)) thank you Grace, always .. X x Livia

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