She’s interrupting me!
Have you ever been annoyed, or frightened, by an interruption?
You’re in the middle of watching a movie and CLUNK BANG ROLL….you hear a noise outside on your front porch.
(Everything in your body goes on alert, you need to investigate).
Or what about driving in traffic, and here comes an ambulance with lights flashing and you have to pull over….and you’re running late already.
Or you’re having a conversation, and your friend talks right over your words saying how OMG I had that happen too (!)….but you didn’t finish your story yet.
Or, you’re on the phone and your kids come racing into the room….mom! mom! mom!
Or maybe you’re running a retreat, someone is doing The Work on something deeply personal….and another participant shows up very late and enters the room right in the middle of the process.
(Not that I would know about that as in this past weekend).
But let’s investigate.
This thing (called interruption–maybe a zero, maybe a ten on the scale of seriousness) happened. A sound, a movement, a major change, a redirection of the focus.
Awareness in once place moves rather suddenly to another place, and it was not how you pictured it, not what you prefer.
What are your thoughts about that interruption?
I’m talking about the uncomfortable, stressful ones.
The meanings you give this moment. Your feelings that are not feelings of peace.
He is so rude, he always talks too much. Let me finish! Why do they always get the right-of-way? It’s too noisy. Something horrible is happening. I am afraid. This is soooo irritating.
Or one of my personal favorites…..REALLY?
What a powerful moment.
What a common moment.
Life is not following my orders for what I KNOW is peaceful.
This shouldn’t be happening. It would be much better (I am sure of it) if this “interruption” wasn’t occurring.
Is that true?
Damn straight it’s true.
But pause a moment.
Consider this incredible question and your true answer.
You might still say “yes, absolutely true.”
But I find when I wonder if this is absolutely permanently 100% beyond a shadow of a doubt TRUE….that this shouldn’t be happening….I really don’t know.
How the hell would I know?
And it’s OK if everything in your entire system screams that YES, this shouldn’t be happening and it would be so much better if it wasn’t happening.
I love how there’s not a correct way to answer this question. You get to answer, for yourself only.
I see how I react.
A flurry of energy rises from my gut up into my chest. My eyes are tight and I squint. Everything about my whole body and persona becomes braced, depending on the level of fear or fury about the interruption.
This experience is interrupting my life.
It’s a terrible world. I am not protected. It’s hopeless.
SEE….it happened again. Interruption. The worst kind.
Here’s a profound question to ask. The fourth question offered by The Work of Byron Katie.
A big, wide, strange, expansive question.
Maybe you never considered it before. Or not in this particular situation. Not this one, no.
Who would you be without the thought that you are being interrupted and it’s horrible, nasty, mean, intrusive, wrong, violating?
This is not to say that you’re supposed to like what happened, or feel smooth and breezy when things like this happen.
The mind will say “BUT…what are you saying????!!!! That this was OK???!!! It was NOT GOOD, NOT OK!! I know it!! It sucked!!”
The mind loves to jump to what this means for all time: That you’d be condoning this interruption, excusing this interruption, even enjoying this interruption.
The mind says to be very careful because that interruption in your life really was awful, so don’t forget how awful.
Think about it all the time. Build your life protecting yourself. Make sure it never, ever happens again.
And by the way, you are the innocent victim and the universe dished you up a shit sandwich. Bad universe. Bad life. Bad circumstances.
This question is for you, so you can find out what it would be like to not have that thought and belief screaming at you all the time.
So that you can use your imagination to consider what it might be like to not play the horror movie over again in your head of what happened.
Who would you be without the belief, right now, wherever you can find it, that this was an interruption such that you are not able to live a normal, happy life, or a productive, successful, peaceful day?
Some ideas that come to mind about NOT thinking it was an interruption (no matter how big or small)….
….might be about the dangers of not thinking that thought.
Like….without the belief I was interrupted, how will anyone ever know to quit speaking when I’m telling a story? I wouldn’t speak up, make requests, set boundaries.
No, I have to believe the thought I was interrupted, so I fight for my rights!
I would get very hurt again without my story that there are interruptions in the world and in my life, and they’re awful.
But let’s just say…..it doesn’t mean you’re going to get hurt if you drop the thought “interruptions are terrible”.
I notice in my own life that when I believe I need to be vigilant, cautious, and protective of myself….
….I live a smaller life.
I live very carefully. I DON’T actually speak up. I run away.
So that’s already happening anyway….WITH the thought that interruption is horrible, bad and wrong.
This is only using imagination to wonder what it would be like to not have this thought?
It’s not jumping to other conclusions about the enormous dangers of letting down your guard.
Because what I notice is….I have NO IDEA what is going to happen today.
I can’t build a fortress big enough to prevent interruptions.
Very difficult things happen. Traumatic things. Weird, totally strange, unexpected things.
Who would I be without the belief they are un-healable, absolutely wrong, evil, un-handle-able?
Who would I be without the belief this should not ever, ever happen or I should have controlled it, if it did?
Who would I be without believing the thought “interruptions are awful and must be stopped.”
I would relax, in this moment now.
I would notice that this moment now, there is no interruption.
I would notice, the interruption ended.
In the dictionary, interruption is defined as a break in the continuity.
The continuity of….what exactly?
Not being surprised? An uneventful life? Things being the same way over and over again?
Even if the interruption was huge and difficult and life-changing….
….am I absolutely sure my life was ONE particular way prior to this interruption (and I’m certain it was the BEST way)?
I turn the thought around: she is NOT interrupting me! I am interrupting myself (especially when she interrupts)! I am interrupting her!
Could any of these be as true, or truer?
And in the end….is not interruption the usual way of it?
What was I expecting?….
….a steady pace of something that never startled me, irritated me, surprised me, shocked me, changed my life, taught me, derailed me, stopped me, destroyed me, silenced me, brought me to The Great Wide Open Mystery?
Eating Peace Online starts Tuesdays, November 17-Feb 9 (no class 12/8 & week #6 on Monday 12/28). Very in-depth online webinar program, with The Work of Byron Katie on Wednesdays 11/18-2/10 AND 2 individual sessions for everyone enrolled…to take your through your life and the holidays with eating.