I have had so many questions about my little P.S. a couple of days ago in my Grace Note on Desire and The Work of Byron Katie (and yes, it’ll be a teleclass).
It seems to have struck a chord.
Desire is an amazing feeling when you feel alive, full of integrity, passionate, happy, full of zest and zip, committed, fascinated, following the breadcrumbs through the woods!
Joie de vivre!!
Desire can show up with a deep sincerity in spiritual practice, the spark you have for clarity and connection, the wonder to awaken.
But we really do get weird about desire….at least I sure did.
Stop it! Hold it back! It can get you into trouble!
You need to keep your head on straight!
There is the foolish human story of someone following their passion and rushing at a windmill, like Don Quixote.
Or the tragic human story of crimes of passion when someone murders their partner, and commits suicide.
What about desire for drugs, alcohol, food, cigarettes, something sexual, money.
Turning against desire, when following it led to hurt and pain, appears to be one strategy in this human dilemma.
I just won’t go there.
For me, this may offer some stability in a roller coaster of emotion, or relief when you stop hunting down and trying to grab….
….but it wasn’t really freedom.
How can we experience the joy of desire and moving towards what we love, celebrating whatever happens along the way?
Guest what my answer is.
Yah. That’s right.
It’s all about the stress, ’bout the stress and trouble.
Here’s what I mean.
When you feel desire for something, for a change, for a situation, for an experience, for money, for a person….
….first, allow it to be there.
Why do you want that?
Instead of simply rushing towards it with your lance, riding your horse and wearing a helmet….pause.
What would you have, if you had that thing, person, situation?
I’d be secure! I’d be happy! I’d be free! Life would be easy! I’d be successful! I’d be proud! I’d be at peace! I’d be there!
Are you absolutely SURE you need that thing in order to have what you think you’d have?
As Byron Katie suggests….could you skip the middle man, and have that feeling RIGHT NOW?
Have my desired feeling NOW?
You mean….feel peace, joy, happiness, freedom, ease, success, pride, or security….now?
I noticed, this is what began to happen as I did The Work and entered the turnarounds.
I did not need that thing or person or experience or situation to be the way I thought it should be in order to be happy.
And have you noticed what can happen when you discover the feeling you wanted all along is possible right now, here, in this situation, in this moment (without your demands for it to be different)?
You want to get up and dance.
Or bawl your eyes out.
Or express, share, celebrate, jump, rest, care, hug, honor, be very quiet in amazement.
“Perhaps your hunger to belong is always active and intense because you belonged so totally before you came here. This hunger to belong is the echo and reverberation of your invisible heritage. You are from somewhere else, where you were known, embraced and sheltered. This is also the secret root from which all longing grows. Something in you knows, perhaps remembers, that eternal belonging liberates longing into its surest and most potent creativity. This is why your longing is often wiser than your conventional sense of appropriateness, safety and truth… Your longing desires to take you towards the absolute realization of all the possibilities that sleep in the clay of your heart; it knows your eternal potential, and it will not rest until it is awakened.” ~ John O’Donohue
Today, I love my hunger (most of the time) and bump up against too much intensity in desire, or out-of-integrity desire in far less degrees than I once experienced.
No more damage to myself, no more violence.
Without stress, I notice desire present in unfettered freedom. Ready to sing, or make a cup of tea, or fall into bed after a great day’s work.
“For the thirst to possess your love,
Is worth my blood a hundred times.” ~ Rumi
If you’d love to learn to live your turnarounds, feel your core desired feelings, then join me on a six week journey into new territory combining The Work and Desire.
We’ll start with what we complain about.
And what isn’t working in our lives in our opinion.
We’ll look at when we don’t feel generous, or we feel fearful.
We’ll take these to inquiry.
We’ll sit with the turnarounds and use our imagination to spend time there, and ask ourselves….
….if I lived with my deepest desire without terror….
….if I lived my turnaround with abandon….
….what would that look like?
What would I do, say, think, feel, be?
Can’t wait to follow this adventure into dissolving painful beliefs, and celebrating desire.
We’ll meet Thursdays 8:30-10 am Pacific Time for 6 weeks starting April 2nd.
“The point of life is happiness.” ~ The Dalai Lama