People have written, called, emailed…..and one lovely woman in a rain-covered jacket knocked on my door yesterday, in person, to hand me her registration for Year of Inquiry.
I love this.
How sweet to connect with others this way.
I was reflecting last night on the words “deadline” and “early-bird”.
So boring really. Frequently used when people are offering things for purchase or registration or sale or trade for some kind of financial number.
I suddenly remembered the etymology (the origin) of the word deadline. I looked it up a couple of years ago.
What a drastic word, right?
It was invented during the Civil War in the United States, around 1864, when guards were instructed to shoot and kill anything that moved over a do-not-cross line. Prisoners trying to escape.
This is not the intention, energy, feeling or sentiment within me when it comes to saying today is the day to make a decision (in this case about Year of Inquiry, although you might have another kind of decision in your life that you call “deadline”).
Will it mean the death of your opportunity, if you don’t decide on yes or no right now?
I used to feel dreadful about decisions. Agonizing about them. Making lists of pros and cons. Thinking about the risk, the loss, the gain, the advantage, the future.
But sometime after I found The Work and self-inquiry, I heard Byron Katie talking about the concept “I need to make a decision.”
And how it wasn’t true.
Then I heard Adyashanti (another favorite teacher I’ve spent time with) and HE questioned the concept “I need to make a decision.”
And how it wasn’t true.
I wrote down this concept so it was right in front of me in words.
Because I thought at the time, almost ten years ago, that I needed to make a decision about the request from my then-husband about whether or not to get divorced.
Then I did The Work, rather than “try” to make a decision.
Who would I be without the belief “I have to make this decision” or “I need to” or “I must”?
So much lighter. So much more natural.
Noticing I felt worried, but I just plain did not know yet.
Turning this concept around to try it on the opposite way…..“I do NOT need to make a decision”.
I kept noticing how this was also true, more true.
Despite those advisors who suggest “not making a decision IS a decision” (say this in a slightly parrot-like voice for effect).
I notice, if it’s right for me (even if it feels scary or sad or mixed) then at the fork in the road, I turn right. It it’s left for me, I turn left.
If I really don’t know, I sit down at the fork in the road and stay awhile, until something moves me.
I find without the thought that a decision needs to be made, in my own business work when organizing and creating Year of Inquiry, a much more spacious, moving, open……even feminine way of gathering a group to join together appears.
It’s powerful, and mysterious and unknown as well.
Powerful does not mean lazer-focused and sharp like a sword.
Or deadly like a deadline.
I have done The Work on business practices and what you are “supposed” to do when you provide a service for others, and what practices should look like (based on recommendations by business experts) when you’re running a business.
They are just not always true.
Who would you be today without the belief that you need to know right now what to do, in any situation presenting itself in your life as an invitation?
If you don’t know, you can wait. Mull. Reach out. Have a conversation. Mull again. Analyze. Jump!
My favorite turnaround of all when it comes to stressful beliefs about decisions is this one: A decision needs to make me.
I notice the direction my joy travels. I watch the way my pleasure moves. I open up to what is happening right here, now.
I trust that what is best for me, the highest good, is unfolding perfectly, in the right timing for me, for you, for the world.
“You are the wisdom you’re seeking, and inquiry is a way to make that wisdom available whenever you want…..You can’t have an up without a down. You can’t have a left without a right. This is duality. If you have a problem, you must already have a solution. The question is, Do you really want the solution, or do you want to perpetuate the problem? The solution is always there. The Work can help you find it.” ~ Byron Katie in 1000 Names For Joy
If you want to investigate a problem, a decision, your solution, your life, your mind….I am here as a facilitator for your work, which becomes our work and my work.
And if you’re signing up for Year of Inquiry, or another 8 week class (scheduling soon) or the new business building class I will be starting this year (also to be determined when)…..
….your work becomes the group’s work, and others also support you in your enlightenment.
You can sign up for Year of Inquiry here, and remember if you need more time to gather your thoughts and discover your own decision, that is the way of it, the way it is.
Retreat: September 25-27, 2015, here in Seattle (we start 9:30 am Friday and end 5 pm on Sunday).