Yesterday I had to lie flat on my bed all afternoon, taking ibuprofen (anti-inflammatory pain pills).
Remember the right hamstring story from six months ago?
Well, even if you don’t….this lower right back hamstring nerve area was hurting, the place I tore last year followed by surgery. I tweaked it dancing recently. Again.
Rats. There is nothing good about this! Fist shaking at the sky!
This is definitely a problem!!
Doing The Work on physical ailments can be really amazing. Let’s go for it!
Is it true that this is bad, I hate the pain, nothing good can come of it? Is it true that it hurts?
Yes. I can still feel it now, what are you talking about…is it true.Jeez.
But can you absolutely know that this is a bad situation, a situation to hate, a problem, a difficulty…that this really does hurt?
I worked with clients, answered emails, even had an awesome session with a beautiful inquirer who always devotes two hours to her work, and my back and hamstring never crossed my mind during any of these activities or interactions.
How do I react when I don’t like the physical sensation I feel?
I clutch against it. I think about the future and how it will get worse. I think things like “I have to stop dancing, I can’t bike, I can’t run, I’m aging, this is getting worse, there is no way for this to go but downhill, I’ll be dealing with this forever until I’m dead.”
I get pictures of my mom and her own back issues and want to interview her about exactly every minutia of experience she’s had, what she did, how I can short cut the process to No Pain.
I react also by ignoring the pain. Pain, what pain? Who cares?
So who would you be without the thought that this is wrong, difficult, bad, that I’m against this sensation? Without the thought that I hurt?
“You put someone that understands the mind in a cell and lock the door and tell them that they’re never going to be released and that’s it for life……and if they love everything they think, then they really are experiencing gratitude. If they don’t love what they think, it’s a torture chamber.” ~ Byron Katie
Without the thought, I notice a very strong sensation, tingling, I want to either lie still or shift around. I notice I forget about it as the mind becomes interested in other things, the room gets fuller, then the attention towards this area becomes more acute again.
I feel pressure, like a rock with sharp edges, stuck in my lower right back. I think of calling the doctor, or calling the physical therapist….maybe I do.
Without the thought that this is a grave, serious, terrible, difficult or annoying situation (this could apply to any situation, right?) then I am simply here, living this experience.
“It’s amazing to see what we end up doing with our Will. We actually assert our will in opposition to the flow of life. If something happens that we don’t like, we resist it. But since what we’re resisting has already taken place, what good is it to resist?…It does not do anything to the reality of that situation.” ~ Michael Singer
Turning the thought around: this is a wonderful situation, it doesn’t hurt.
This is not denial, it’s actually playing with the awareness of all things, all sides….entering non-duality.
Yesterday, I lay in bed and did The Work with others for 7 hours. I had breaks, I wrote, I got up and ate a delicious orange and leftover pizza. I talked with my funny and beautiful daughter.
How spectacular to notice that even though it hurts, it also doesn’t hurt.
Much love, Grace