Did you know Peace Talk Podcasts come out every Monday? They are short and sweet, always under ten minutes. I’d love your reviews on itunes (and you can listen on stitcher too).
Here’s yesterday’s episode on the Silent Treatment (I was on a roll on that one, it follows along with yesterday’s Grace Note).
Sunday afternoon 8 month deep inquiry group starts November 22nd. Only 3 spots left. We meet 3-6 pm at Goldilocks Cottage.
Well, this is a first for a Grace Note.
I just said to the voice that tells me instantly what I’m writing about and inquiring into every day…..
…..really? Do I have to talk about that?
But once something appears for at least the third time with a client, I know it’s a powerful experience to question.
Even if embarrassing, shameful, and weird to talk about.
Since it is….even better to actually talk about it.
Now, before you quit reading…..
…..what I’m talking about is something that’s very, very common if you have a body and you eat food.
Everybody poops (or discards waste in some way, even if it’s not the normal route).
When something goes oddly, or differently, or off from the usual course of events, this can really cause health concerns.
And it can also cause a huge amount of stress and anger, anxiety and sadness.
Constipation, diarrhea, not being able to find a bathroom…..
…..if any of this persists, what are the thoughts you have?
I can still remember being a kid and having my first experience with constipation. I have no idea of the exact age. It rarely happened.
Later as a teen, I would sometimes have what I thought of as an odd pain in my gut on the left side. I would then forget all about it, because it would go away, then come back.
(I realized a decade later it was dehydration. I hardly drank any water when I worked downtown at the Science Center Museum where I needed to stand and greet people all day).
I’m so honored at the people who have brought chronic problems with the digestive system to inquiry.
OK, the pooping part of digestion, let’s be honest.
If you’ve ever had this difficult experience, what have your thoughts been?
- I hate this
- it hurts
- I can’t stand it
- this is such a hassle
- I can’t do things other people can do
- this is embarrassing, shameful
- I hate having to wait
- My schedule revolves around this activity (arrrgghhh)
Are your thoughts about this true?
Are you sure?
When my kids were little, someone gave us the gift of a book called Everybody Poops. My former husband and I thought that was one of the best kids books, besides George and Martha.
We loved it.
(We actually sang it to the tune of R.E.M.’s Everybody Hurts every time we opened the book….)
We could see our kids learning to be with this crazy, fascinating phenomenon of eating and pooping.
How do you react when you believe your experience is frightening, causing you to miss things, “making” you wait, or hurting you?
I’m not talking about denying that it hurts.
If there’s pain, there’s a message and a communication. You consult doctors, healers, specialists, experts. You research and see what you can find out that works better. You learn about what you’re eating, or what else might be going on.
But meanwhile, you can notice the anger and frustration, the experience of reacting with fury.
Who would you be without your beliefs that this pooping thing is wrecking your life?
This can be any physical symptom, really.
This is powerful work, since we have bodies and things go haywire with these bodies at times, for everyone.
(It’s called getting sick).
Who would you be without the belief this shouldn’t be happening to your body?
I notice I still don’t long for it to happen—but I feel more accepting. More attentive. More relaxed.
I then notice my mind begins to fall into the turnarounds.
How could this be interesting, to be sitting quietly in the bathroom for 30 minutes, waiting for this digestive process to happen?
Like everything with the body, it brings me to No Control.
To caring for this thing I appear to be inhabiting, called body.
Now that I think about it, I was going to be meditating at this time anyway. I’m staring at the bathroom wall, feeling this room, feeling the body, relaxing, allowing this to be as it is.
Also making a note to self that ignoring the fact that I lost my water bottle the other day, and only drinking out of the fountain after my usual sweaty workout, probably could change.
One of the first clients I ever worked with had very despairing thoughts about pooping keeping him from social situations.
We all love to make poop jokes and cackle about farting.
I can be right in there with the rest of us, but I loved that he brought this to genuine inquiry, without shame.
What he found was that he continued to visit some nutritionists to aid his digestion and make changes to his diet, and meanwhile, he also found very good reasons to have quiet days to himself.
He also had the thought…..maybe I don’t have to lock myself away.
Maybe I can join with others in social occasions, and excuse myself if I notice I need to leave…..without the belief I’m missing something special.
He didn’t have to be all freaked out about disappointing others, or saying what was going on, or making something up that was a lie.
Just a simple “I need to go take care of something, maybe I’ll be back, and maybe not.”
- I hate my thoughts about this
- my thinking hurts
- I can’t stand my thinking
- relax, peace, be
- my thinking is such a hassle
- I can do things other people can do
- this is common, something that occurs in humans
- I love waiting, being still
- My schedule revolves around this activity (it’s OK), or my thinking revolves around this activity