My day is mapped out. I’ve got a tight schedule.
In the morning, I’m doing 50 minutes on my book, creating a new Eating Peace video in my kitchen, answering many emails, getting my kid signed up for her summer SAT class, putting together notebook materials for the people coming on retreat this weekend, finishing an article.
No individual clients intentionally.
At noon the cleaner is coming to deep clean the cottage, I need to give her instructions then get up to the coffee shop with my laptop to write tomorrow’s Grace Note (which are these words).
At 1:45 I’m due at the gym for a workout, followed by grocery store, then back home to pay the cleaner, shower, and teach starting at 5:15 for the last 90 minute Eating Peace group of the most recent 3 month EP program.
Sitting down in the squishy chair at the coffee house next to my gym, I realize this laptop has 10% battery power left. And I have no charger with me.
I am NOT going to finish whatever writing I had planned for this segment of the day.
Inside, I notice a slight flare of “dang-it” and the mind zips fast to whether it’s possible to resolve this easily. Can I go home and interrupt the cleaning going on there, just for the charger? Is it worth it? Is there a charger anywhere else? If I start asking people could I drum up a charger or would that waste time?
So now it’s on 9% and I’m still writing.
I notice….the mind has already decided things are not going the way I planned, or wanted, and that I need to alter my thoughts and expectations about the afternoon ahead.
Fortunately, I am madly in love with surrendering to reality and noticing what it wants, rather than what I want.
Plus, this isn’t exactly a life or death situation.
But have you ever been with someone who screams in rage at heavy traffic, or cusses because they forgot their charger and the battery is running out?
Not exactly life or death….
….but without the relaxation of inquiry, you can have a tantrum aboutanything.
I hear the voice that wants to tantrum.
And I’m so, so glad I also hear the question arise “is it true?”
There’s a fun, open interest in being willing to surrender to what’s actually going on, rather my version of what should happen.
Who would you be without the belief that you should have remembered the charger?
Who would you be without the belief that you should have remembered ANYTHING?
Without the thought that it should be going some other alternative way, and that the way it’s gone, or going, is BAD?
I’d be back in this moment, noticing the words flow out, hearing the beautiful sweet music playing and the lovely conversations buzzing around me. I’d feel the smooth flat keys against my fingertips. I’d feel my feet resting gently on the floor, and my mind alert and aware of so much in this precious moment, here now.
I’d feel the flow of words and communication coming through me like water, sharing. With a deep silence underneath it all, and no concern about “time” and when things need to happen, or what’s in store for me.
“I’ve got a big surprise for you, lots of good news! You don’t have to do anything. The more you do, the worse it gets. All you have to do is understand…..Stop being a dictator. Stop trying to push yourself somewhere.” ~ Anthony DeMello
Feel what it’s like to be in this day, with stuff undone on the mental list of what should be happening.
Who would you really be without the belief it has to go the way you think is ideal, in order to be happy?
Very peaceful, curious, gentle in this moment.
Relaxing, even as I get up to to the next thing on the list instead.
Noticing the computer now says 4% and….I may have actually finished.
Not deterring from the “schedule” after all.
Much love, Grace