Arrrggghhhh! The Internet, The Computer, The Gizmo Isn’t Working!

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Yesterday, I spent 3 hours futzin’ with technology.

Updating my website (check it out right here–would love your comments actually….as in….can you find stuff better?)

But back to the inquiry process here.

The futzin I was doing. It took soooooooooo long!!!

ARRRRGGGGHHH!!!

The video clip I was making suddenly timed out because “start up disk has no more space”.

Start over.

A loud plane flew overhead.

Start over.

I fumbled all over my words (even though I have a policy of ‘good enough’ and ‘not perfect!’).

Start over.

My whole mid-day time for meditation, bike ride, meal and some writing….bashed to pieces because of the COMPUTER.

Heh heh.

Who actually bashed her time to pieces and made the technology more important than the rest of it?

OK, OK.

But let’s do The Work.

It can be really insightful to simply watch that mind come up with all its anger and frustration about stuff breaking, stuff not going the way it should.

Yeah, now that I think about it….

….the washing machine needs to be cleaned or something (it smells funny), there’s a broken part on the dishwasher, the knobs in the bathroom are falling off the fixture bolts, the back door keeps wiggling out of its latch it gets stuck closed, there’s a drywall repair needed near the light switch in the kitchen where water leaked from the roof last winter, and the carpet is totally stained and needs to be replaced.

And I only just got started!!

I’m gonna tear my hair out just thinking about it!!

Someone should fix it. (How about my husband, by the way).

The thoughts will come out swinging like a batter on speed.

So who would I be without the belief that there’s all this broken stuff and it really does need to be repaired?

Without the belief this is aggravating? Or a pain in the ass?

What if I wasn’t against the list of tasks?

My 17 year old daughter comes in, I tell her “the internet hasn’t been working all day and it’s so annoying!”

She gives me a hug and says “I’m sorry it’s not working” and I’m thinking “hugs will not help.”

Ha ha, who is 17?

Then my daughter says “maybe you weren’t supposed to get that video up today, or the website stuff you were doing.”

Oh.

Right.

How is it a good thing it didn’t happen?

Well. For one thing, I realized the do-over video clip I created (for Eating Peace weekly videos) was crap. The original first-take was much better, even though it got cut off at the end.

So I decided to send the cut-off better version and to be SUPER imperfect, and see if it still helps people out who want to watch how to change your thoughts that your body is ugly.

I then had a cancellation of a client so I got to take my bike ride after all.

And I got to see what a wise daughter I have.

Now that’s worth three hours of futzing around thinking you’re “wasting time” with technology. Don’t you agree?

“The more closely I look at something, the more I begin to notice that I really don’t know what it is. A name arises, and with it the silent ‘is it true?’, surrounded by and emanating the laughter that comes from not knowing.” ~ Byron Katie in 1000 Names For Joy #48

Much love, Grace

3 Responses to Arrrggghhhh! The Internet, The Computer, The Gizmo Isn’t Working!

  1. The thought of offering to help people with their pruning brings up a storm of protest. People would have the opportunity to judge MY pruning skills! Interesting. So if I’m so sure of what they are doing wrong, can I-I-I do it right?

    :)))

  2. So great! The torture, the pain! And I had the thought that its also possible to knock on someone’s door, or leave them a little note, asking if they’d like pruning help (only, of course, if this is fun for you). I so enjoy making contact with people (AFTER doing The Work and truly feeling the freedom of not knowing what’s best). No expectation of outcome. :) Thanks for sharing!!!

  3. So who would I be without the belief that there’s all this broken stuff and it really does need to be repaired?

    PEOPLE REALLY DO NEED TO FIX ALL THOSE BROKEN MIS-PRUNED SHRUBS IN THEIR YARDS! This is my insanity. Today, walking the dog, taking this thought to my Mentor to inquire, so upset, so disgusted, that people don’t know the right way to prune, plant, weed. Remembering when I didn’t know how to do that, either. When I ruined one of my first client’s roses. (not actually ruined). How, with that thought I no longer enjoy the fresh morning breeze. And I’m no longer free. I can’t leave (leave in some inner way). I’m stuck with those shrubs and gardens. Unhappy. Not at peace. And the terrible thing that would happen without that thought is, Who would I be? I really don’t know. And that feels pretty terrible–except for the wonder part of gosh, who would I be?

    TA: They don’t need to…Could it be true that without my belief system in place, they don’t need to? Am I still alive, whether they do or not? (Alive and furious! Raging! Well, so what? Furious or not, there they are…)
    TA: I need to and my thinking needs to…when I see them as broken and needing to be fixed. Fix the cruelty of THAT world.
    I look forward to broken misshaped shrubs. So that I can notice how broken and misshapen my thinking has become. And how I am still alive with all those broken, misshapen shrubs.

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