Yesterday morning was the very last session of the current Money telegroup.
to you when it comes to money.
People had visions of living on the street, pushing a cart, moving into a basement somewhere, losing every thing, sleeping in a car….
….but not only these frightening visions of homelessness or poverty, there was another troubling belief that rose to the surface from one participant’s worksheet:
I will never live the good life.
I can relate.
I may be surviving, I may even be able to pay for the repair guy to come fix the dishwasher, I’ve paid for my kid’s private school tuition, I may get my car to the shop for broken brakes, I can buy any kind of bread I want–even the $6 loaf from the local organic bakery.
I’m not living the good life…the premium life.
That life over there where people drive fancy cars, custom order $2000 shoes, go to the spa, take private jet rides, throw big parties by the sea, and donate $1 million to charity (in case you were wondering where Mother Teresa went).
Last weekend (OK, on my crutches still since you asked, did you have to remind me?) I went to a most breath-taking gathering with a bunch of exquisite new friends.
We’re all in a program together. These people were kind, fun, creative business owners. Many solo entrepreneurs.
We were all going to eat dinner together, and Stan invited us over to his place instead of out to a restaurant.
I didn’t know Stan, but I could tell he was a real sweetheart.
OK, I’ll go.
Off we all went, drivers getting maps on their phones, explanations, people putting in the GPS address and pointing off in the direction we’d be headed.
Then we were all there, unloading, parking, laughing.
Through a gate, we entered a courtyard. Off to the left, an indoor basketball court, to the right a tasteful row of 6 garage doors.
Then, through a spectacular arch-way entrance into a gorgeous lodge-like living room with beautiful leather couches, mission-style beams up high across the ceiling.
One part of the huge living room wall slid open, like a theater, to a garden patio, with a deep blue swimming pool in a cove shape, and luxurious outdoor furniture and tables.
I marveled with the beauty of what humans can build. The creativity, the design.
Part way into the evening, people talking, eating, playing music, having drinks….I had the thought “this is the good life”.
But I’m only invited. I didn’t MAKE this good life. I didn’t invent it, create it, or build it.
My mind, as if something’s suddenly occurring to that Voice, kicks in and says “How did he do it? Why didn’t I start thinking about money and following the bread crumbs earlier in life? I should have studied business 30 years ago, I should have…”
Right then, literally as my mind is starting to light a match under thoughts of inadequacy, slight melancholy, the feeling like I’m watching this life from an outside window looking through, another new friend plops down next to me.
“You’re gonna have a challenge with all this, aren’t you?” he says with a twinkle in his eye.
What a sweet, powerful, wonderful question! So intimate!
We then had the best discussion EVER. About money, mind, thinking, beliefs, past experiences, history, future.
Looking back now a few days later, and being in inquiry deeply with fellow companions this morning, I realize how exciting it is to be without the concepts, imagining who I would be again without my story of money:….
“that is far away from this…the good life is over there, not here….I am inadequate, not doing it right…I should have done it differently…there’s something missing…”
Today, we found the most precious examples and the crisp, clear turnarounds: I will always live the good life, I will never live the bad life.
As peoples’ voices choked up with gratitude and realization for the goodness of this life they have lived….they remembered all the really difficult stuff they’ve experienced, with appreciation.
This included sudden death of loved ones, losing possessions, feeling completely alone, having things destroyed, being left behind.
“All you want is to be happy. All your desires, whatever they may be, are longing for happiness. Basically, you wish yourself well…desire by itself is not wrong…….[But] to imagine that some little thing–food, sex, power, fame–will make you happy is to deceive oneself. Only something as vast and deep as your real self can make you truly and lastingly happy.”~ Nisargadatta
One thing I know. My real self goes with me everywhere, just like you.
It is walking down the street past a dumpster, it is gazing into an artistic blue and white glass fire pit in Stan’s amazing back yard, it is breathing deeply all the air that is supplied, without needing to do anything for it.
“Many of us are motivated by a desire for success. But what is success? What do we want to achieve? We do only three things in life: We stand, we sit, we lie horizontal. Once we’ve found success, we’ll still be sitting somewhere, until we stand, and we’ll stand until we lie down or sit again. Success is a concept, an illusion. Do you want the $3900 chair instead of the $39 one? Well, sitting is sitting. Without a story, we’re successful wherever we are.” ~ Byron Katie in Loving What Is
If you want to join the next 8 week money telegroup, we begin again on Thursday, January 31st at 1:00-2:30 pm Pacific time.
And yes, I am developing this class for personal format, so you can follow along on your own and listen to audio. Stay tuned.
With love, Grace