Who Doesn’t Get The Work?

I don’t get it.

That’s what I heard the other day when someone was referred to me by a close friend.

We were talking about The Work, coaching, goals and why his friend might have referred him to me.

As I spoke to this man, who reported he was happy in his career, his life as a single dad, and the status of his relationship with his previous wife….

….he eventually shared with me that he felt unrest.

Like a general malaise, a thought “is this all there is?” about life in general.

He felt bored.

He asked me what The Work entailed, never having heard of it before, ever.

I said that it was about questioning your thoughts that bring about anxiety, confusion, rage, sadness, despair…

….and boredom.

Then I asked him if he’d like to do The Work on his idea that life is boring for him, just a short overview, to take a look.

When I asked him who he would be without the belief that life is dull, bland, boring, discouraging….

….he said “I don’t get it.”

I shared a little more….”You imagine who you might be if you couldn’t even be thinking that thought that you’re bored, looking around at life, your environment, your world.”

He said it didn’t really make sense. That it was nice to imagine, but that’s not reality.

He said he was very grateful for the call.

But later, after hanging up, I was like “Phew, he has a long way to go.” I wonder if I’ll ever talk to him again.

And then The Work bubbling up immediately.

Is that really true?

Think about someone you think has a long road ahead, a big gap to bridge, someone who is confused, someone who doesn’t get it who you kinda wished DID get it.

How do you react when you believe they need to get something, including The Work?

Whether slight concern or really frustrated, it’s stressful.

But who would you be without the belief that the person in mind should get it, or even needs to? Without the thought in your head that they should be different, or understand what you’re saying, or grasp ANYTHING more than they do?

“You see persons and things not as they are but as you are.” ~ Anthony De Mello

In that moment of thought as it passes, where I think someone should get something, who is the one who doesn’t get it?

Maybe, that would be me!

“Enlightenment can be measured by how compassionately and wisely you interact with others–with all others, not just those who support you in the way that you want. How you interact with those who do not support you shows how enlightened you really are.” ~ Adyashanti

Thank you, person who didn’t get The Work in that moment.

Thank you everyone who doesn’t get whatever they don’t get, giving me time to practice and feel the joy of being compassionate with others, no matter what.

And thank you to myself for not getting anything, until I did. I trust the universe to handle what I get, when I get it…

…its a lot lighter that way.

Much love, Grace

2 thoughts on “Who Doesn’t Get The Work?

  1. Just thinking this morning, Now why would someone (like me) who is all about body awareness-Yoga, the Work, sitting practice, relaxation techniques, blah, blah-live with someone who depends on doctors who do surgery and prescribe pills, and who moves as little as possible–hmmm. :) My response to him is to hold all that against him, really–torture him–about it. He would be so much happier if he did a little Yoga, sat and meditated on his pain, watched it come and go. Yes. Absolutely. I can absolutely know that Yoga and Meditation would make him happier. If he would just get with my program, we could do all this stuff together. It would be great for our marriage. I would feel supported in doing all that stuff. I wouldn’t feel embarrassed when I do it, andhe doesn’t.

    With those thoughts, I feel like my problems are his fault. He’s wrong. He’s even the wrong one for me. I don’t have to look at all these practices and see if I REALLY want to do them. I don’t relax. (Relax–that’s what HE does, not me!) I don’t enjoy my life, and the people in it. I divide people into Practitioners and Nonpracticioners. I feel guilty when I’m not practicing. I don’t want my husband to feel better, if it doesn’t support what I think he should be doing. He should be suffering if he’s not practicing!

    Without the thought, He should be practicing, I let him go. I focus on my practices. I enjoy watching TV with him. I hope he’s doing well. I’m curious about how he’s doing. I don’t need him to do better (hard one).

    TA He shouldn’t be doing these practices. I don’t even know what practices he does. Maybe his life is as full of practices as mine is. If he doesn’t come to them on his own, they’re useless to him. He keeps me honest. I see how narrow my world is when what he does isn’t acceptable. Imagine a world all about MY practices! Yikes!

    TA I should be doing these practices. Not even sure I should be doing (all) of them. I sometimes feel like I have too many practices. Isn’t life ok without practices to fix it?

    TA The practices shoud be doing him. Maybe when he sees me doing the practices and having a better life from them, he’ll WANT to do them, and I won’t have to promote them.

    Thank you!

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